Today I'm going to rant about my parents. Don't get me wrong; I love them very much and appreciate all that they've done for me. But, like all humans, they are not perfect, and the subject matter of this post is a case I find particularly important.

The fact is that my parents (particularly my mother), like many immigrant parents around the world, I'm sure, impose a double standard on me in terms of language. That is, my mother expects me to speak Chinese as well as she does, but at the same time, she doesn't expect to learn English herself anytime soon.

I would like to recount an incident involving my mother and me that occurred yesterday. My mother asked me to show her how to use a lawnmower. The lawnmower has two levers, one that can be pushed down and one that can be pushed up. The lever that can be pushed up is used to control the speed of the lawnmower; the lawnmower remains at rest when the lever remains at rest at the bottom, and the lawnmower moves forward at full speed when the lever is pushed to the top. I told my mother to push the lever to the top. When she did so, the lawnmower started moving. Soon enough, the lawnmower began moving out of control. I told my mother, "Let go!" My mother did not understand the meaning of the expression "Let go!", and construed it to mean that she should allow the lawnmower to keep moving as it was (i.e. to let it keep going). As the lawnmower was moving out of control and its loudness was making it difficult for me to hear myself, I repeated "Let go!", but this time I shouted it so that my mother would hear. She scolded me for raising my voice, and finally she let go and allowed the lawnmower to stop when I repeated "Let go!" in Chinese.

After a few minutes the lawnmower ran out of gas and my mother came inside. She told me, in Chinese of course, that the lawnmower's engine was unable to ignite. In doing so my mother used a Chinese word I did not know. I calmly said, "I don't know that that means." In response to that, my mother repeated her sentence several times in a frustrated manner, to which I responded by saying that I still don't know what it means. Finally, my mother repeated the sentence using words I did know in a sarcastically demeaning manner, and angrily complained that I was incompetent in Chinese.

Obviously the communication between my mother and me is strained because we primarily speak different languages. But I find my mother's attitude toward language disagreeable and vastly unfair to me. First of all, my mother is a naturalized United States citizen, and has lived in the United States for eleven years. All of my Chinese friends' parents, who themselves were born in China and came to the United States at a late age, can speak reasonably good English. (In fact, my mother herself told me that the mother of one of my friends memorized an English dictionary in college, and knows the page on which every word can be found.) But my mother, after having lived in the United States for eleven years, speaks English at a level that is insufficient even to understand me. The low level of English proficiency has hindered the lives of both of my parents. For example, just yesterday, I went to Staples with my mother. She had a Staples rebate card, and but it turned out that the card was expired. My mother admitted that she had not read the card beforehand because she did not have the time to do so. If my mother spoke English fluently, the time it would have taken her to read the card would have been completely negligible.

However, my parents' bad English affects not only themselves, but me as well. Miscommunication between my parents and me occur frequently. A common example occurs in a supermarket or at a restaurant. My mother or father would ask me if I wanted to eat a particular food item I like. If I said no, they would ask why. I would respond by saying that I did not feel like eating it. My parents would, when parsing the sentence "I don't feel like it," place particular emphasis on the word "like" (when emphasis should be placed on "feel"), and consequently believe that I was saying that I felt that I did not like the food item. Of course, these are simply small matters. Although I am unable to think of a specific example of this, my parents' lack of understanding of English expressions has led them, on several occasions, to believe that I am rude and disrespectful.

I have addressed my parents on the issue of their level of proficiency in English on many occasions. My parents justified their lack of dedication to improving their English by telling me that their energies have already been dedicated to supporting my education. Although I find it unfair that my parents are so prone to misunderstanding me, I can understand and appreciate the reason why they are unable to improve their English.

However, what I find unjustifiable is the double standard my mother imposes on me.

First of all, I often complain of my mother's English, and she often complains of my Chinese. However, my mother complains of my Chinese in a very angry manner, while I complain of my mother's English in a very annoyed manner. Although the difference seems subtle, the reason I find my mother's complaints more disagreeable is because my mother's tone of voice implies that by displaying inadequacy in Chinese I have done something wrong, and that my mother is upset and disappointed in me. Her complaints, in fact, sound more like accusations than complaints.

But more importantly, it is my parents who hold most (if not all) of the responsibility for the fact that I don't speak Chinese well. Coming to the United States was, in fact, my mother's idea and suggestion. Although I had always wanted to visit the United States as a tourist, I never held any desire to live in America forever. After coming to the United States I devoted all my effort into studying English, and in the process, I forgot Japanese, a language very dear to me, as my mother did not allow me to read Japanese books, and I had no classmates who spoke Japanese. If I had stayed in Japan, my Chinese would most likely be better than it is now because the Japanese language has many Chinese loanwords. But the fact is that my mother complains that I don't speak Chinese well when, in fact, she is the one responsible for my incompetency in Chinese.

I would like to reiterate that I love my mother very much and appreciate the vast amounts of effort she devotes into raising me and supporting my education. However, raising a child is not easy, and it is the responsibility of parents as role models to display positive attitudes for their children to adopt. The attitude my mother holds toward language is, despite all that she has done for me, still negative, unjustifiable, and unfair.

I'm in Boston right now visiting colleges! I'll post some pictures in a few days.

My parents decided to go on a short vacation so that I could practice driving. I drove 170 miles from my home to Wisconsin. My mom always worried about my dad getting tired when he was driving on road trips, and I never understood how one could possibly get tired from driving. Well, now I know.

The highway can be incredibly boring, especially in a place like Wisconsin, which has many depressing scenes (i.e. empty farmlands dotted with only a few barns about to fall apart). Furthermore, the passengers of the car can be very annoying (I wish my dad wouldn't sing). So, it's easy to just doze off on the highway.

Another problem is the temperature. I've found that with cars it's pretty much impossible to attain a comfortable temperature; it's always either too hot or too cold. Perhaps it's because I'm sitting in the driver's seat and the wind is always blowing on me. Anyhow, I was always fidgeting with the air conditioning controls. Sometimes it was so cold my hands and feet started hurting, but once I turned off the cold wind I began to feel sleepy.

By the time I got home, my feet were sore.

Here is famous Chinese violinist Li Chuanyun playing the Super Mario song!

I'm gonna try to transcribe this someday.